Got this coffee mug for the Xmas.

Looks neat and whatnot, but the rim is of an uneven width around its circumference. This implies a knowledge of drinking physics that my lips are unable to comprehend. I take a sip from the “side,” and everything is fine, but if I am not paying attention due to being easily distracted by the squirrels outside my window and foolishly drink from the “corner,” I am bequeathed with coffee stains on my shirt.

Therefore, in order for me to use this gift, one that someone excruciatingly spent hours searching for before finding it for $5 at Walmart, I need to either: 1) Retrain my lips; or 2) Exclusively wear dark clothing when drinking from it.

I don’t really want to do either. I just want to drink coffee. :(

Fortunately, since it was made in China, the lead poisoning should kill me off before all my shirts are ruined.